YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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