U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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