he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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