Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
