I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
