She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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