Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
