none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
