id be glad to
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
