I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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