i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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