respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
