I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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