i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
