i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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