Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
