Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
