Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
