I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize