then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
