I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
