Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize