last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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