i don't like sucking hair
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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