marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
