I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
