I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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