New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
