Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I AM VODKA MAN
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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