I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
