There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize