Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
