So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i wish my penis had a tongue
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
