It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize