Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
