Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
