I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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