I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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