There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
