this beer tastes like vomit already
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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