There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
