What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize