i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
