cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
