the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize