I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
