i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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