Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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