I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
