i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
