id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
