Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
