Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
