its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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