Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
