So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
