she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
