She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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