Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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