If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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