Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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