no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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