How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
