Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
