i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
